This is for all my people pleasers out there. I want to give us the freedom we’ve always wanted. It’s not going to be easy, but we need this.
Here it is: we need to start letting people down.
Do you feel free? Not yet? Oh, okay. I’ll keep going then.
I’ve been thinking about this for two weeks, and it’s the reason I didn’t post anything last week. And I felt bad about that. I let you down, and I’m sorry. That’s not the kind of letting people down I want to talk about though.
You weren’t the only people I let down last week. I was supposed to hang out with some friends, and I canceled because I was just too busy and needed some time. I feel like I let my friends down. I wasn’t prepared enough coming into this week to have the right projects ready for our intern, so I feel like I wasted his week and the opportunity he has to learn from us. I feel like I let him down.
I let people down a lot and you probably do too, but that’s not the letting people down I want to talk about either.
I want to talk about the way we should let people down. We should let people down with our honesty. A lot.
Story time: I’m not a big crier (okay I’m a big crier why am I lying to you) and I cried in the middle of a coffee shop yesterday because someone was honest with me: the kind of honesty that hurts your heart. I’m half writing this and half thinking about that if I’m being honest.
I feel let down, but the slight amount of perspective I have is making me feel glad I do. Why? Because they cared enough to be honest with me. They valued my heart enough to let me down. In the midst of the hurt, I can appreciate their heart-opening honesty.
In a world that desperately craves and demands honesty, we run as far as we can from giving and receiving it. We proudly proclaim, “walk in your truth,” unless you are going to share that truth and it might hurt someone else. The oddity of life is everyone gets hurt when we’re not honest. Hiding honesty always eventually hurts more than honesty.
Honesty will let people down, and it will hurt, but we need honesty. We deserve honesty. We need people to care enough about us to be real. Here’s something else I’ve found to be true: Our hearts are stronger than we think they are. They can handle more than what we think they can. You can go through more and endure more. You can experience more than you’re currently experiencing.
So, embrace more. Embrace and share heart-opening, heart-gushing, painfully vulnerable honesty.
Let people down because they deserve it.