Have you ever gotten good advice, but it just wasn’t good for you? The kind of advice that comes from people who genuinely love and care about you. In any other context, the advice would’ve been solid, but this time it just doesn’t sit right with you when you’re hearing it. It’s not that it’s wrong; it’s just that it isn’t right for you right now.
Has that ever happened to you?
This week, I was talking with some friends, and we were talking about my love life and the advice landed us on the idea that I shouldn’t do too much too fast. Now, if you know me, you know this is advice I should listen to 96% of the time. If you don’t know me, well, this is advice I should listen to 96% of the time. I have the propensity to fall hard and fast.
They were getting the vibe that I was probably falling pretty hard, and it may be too much too soon. They were essentially saying, “chill fam or you’re going to creep her out.” It sounded much wiser in person I’m sure, but this is what I remember.
I left thanking them because they’re looking out for me and want the best for me and I think it’s solid advice. The only thing is: I don’t think I’m going to follow their advice. I feel like I need to follow my heart on this one.
My heart isn’t really saying I should chill. My heart is saying, “take the dive.” My heart is saying, “go all in. If it fails miserably, it fails miserably but don’t let it fail because you didn’t give it your all.”
Some smart person (Yoda) said, “do or do not, there is no try.” Another smart person (Robert Mondavi) said, “Whatever you do, pour yourself into it.” A lot of smart and dumb people have said something to the effect of, “if you’re going to do something, really do it.” I say, be creepy, be fully you, be too much, be all in, don’t hide a part of who you are because who you are might creep someone out.
If who you are creeps someone out, it probably won’t work anyway so you might as well find out now rather than later.
This doesn’t just apply to the area of love but life as well. We don’t need any more half-in half-out. We don’t need part of who you are. We need everything you’ve got. All of it. In your job, in your pursuit of your passions, in your relationships, in your friendships, in your hopes and dreams, go all in. The world needs everything you are and nothing less.
The most courageous thing you could ever do with your life is be completely and exactly who you are. Take the dive. Go all in. Be reckless with your love. Abandon the preconceived notion that has you bound to the belief that you have to be less than who you are to be accepted. Live in the freeing truth that who you are is enough and be you unapologetically.
Live passionately, fail triumphantly, and love harder and faster than anyone advises you to.